A Day in the Life of a Teacher

5:45 - Wake up. Look through closet to find a fun, colorful outfit to wear that my students might enjoy. Tired, as it's been a LONG week. Settle on some gray and black boring thing because I am too lazy to be fashionable. It bores me.

6:30 - Watch Glee on fox.com. Dancing in the bathroom while curling my hair. Dangerous, but fun.

7:15 - Leave for school. It's freezing.

7:45 - Arrive at school. Smear cream cheese on my bagels for my kids. It's testing time and I wanted to try and make it fun. We have an inside joke about bagels, which is my I chose them for a snack. At the beginning of the year when we were making our class rules, one student wrote, "Please free bagels in the morning." I had to ask if he meant "Free the bagels!" or "We want free bagels." It was the latter. I added it to our class rules.

8:10 - Duty on the primary playground. Watch 1st and 2nd graders run and scream. It's loud. I sip my latte. Watch as parents (who cannot leave their children yet) put their playground toys away. Watch as they coddle them when they trip. Wonder how I will handle a baby when I pop one out. "Why are you crying? You're not bleeding. Use your words." 1st grader trips in front of me. "Why are you crying? You're not bleeding. Use your words." She gets up and goes to her teacher.

8:25 - My students find me on duty and see my hot drink. "ooooo Starbucks!" "No," I say. "Starbucks is yucky." "No it is are not! We love Starbucks." Discussion ensues about corporate coffee vs. local coffee. It is hard to debate with 4th graders. I would have won if school hadn't started.

8:45 - Try and start the testing the district says I have to do. The testing that tells the district how good of a job I am doing. One third of my class is pulled out for another class. Delay testing. Decide to test reading comprehension instead to see how my low readers are doing while the rest practice studying for a test. If these students haven't improved, the district says I have to spend a combined total of 60 minutes daily working with these kids out of my instruction time. My instruction time is the whole day. So 60 minutes before or after school, I suppose.

9:00 - Write a pretend letter to the district in my head. Dear Sir or Madame, Where do you suggest I find these extra 60 minutes? You have given me 30 students and hundreds of standards to teach them. I could do it before or after school on top of the extra 2 hours I already work outside contract time. Good thing you fixed it that way, or else you would owe me an extra $16,000 a year! That's ok, as a bonus I will take my students' smiling faces. (And you know what? I do! The district knows teachers' weaknesses.)

9:30 - One third of my class returns. Start my testing when 6 more get pulled out for other types of testing. Try to start our social studies activity and get into the explanation when the students return. Start testing again.

10:00 - "Ok, class we have to do this testing. I hate it, you hate it, but it's the law. It's not like a speeding law that's ok to break. (kidding! maybe.) It's a way for us to know how well I have taught certain concepts. If most of you get the same question wrong, then I know I have to reteach that concept. But that won't happen, because I am FABULOUS!" (sing songy voice) Cricket, cricket, cricket... "Alrighty then, let's get started."

10:05 - Realize the prompt they have to respond to is the worst prompt of all time. “Think of one thing you want to change about yourself and explain why.” One girl is writing about being skinnier. In a few classrooms over, my coworker is running into similar issues with the prompt.

Student: I have never thought about changing myself. I like the way I am. So what do I say?
Teacher: Make something up.
Student: You can do that!?"
Teacher: How would I know?"
Student "Woaaah."

11:00 – One of my favorite students (yes, we have favorites! So if you ever wondered if your teacher ranked you guys, she probably did.) starts to cry because he feels he is unable to do well. Do my best to comfort him. Tell him to finish the test. The district wants it by tomorrow. Feel like crying with him.

11:45 – Ask my kids why they didn’t revolt against my boring grey outfit. “You have purple in your hair! So that makes it ok.” “Have you ever heard of that store ‘Black and White’?? (she means White House, Black Market) It’s the fashion!” I smile. Feel better about outfit.

12:40 – Deep discussion with kids about the government.
Student: What if there was no government?
Me: What do you think would happen if there were no government?
Students: Everything would be free!
Me: Nothing is free.
Student: Samples at Costco are free.

I can’t argue with that logic. Move on to a different topic.

Me: What type of economy do we have?
Student: Bad.

I decide to leave social studies for another day.

1:05 – Students leave for music. I have 50 minutes to get everything done. (HAHAHAHA) Fire drill. I curse to myself and think about locking the door, turning off the lights, and continuing to work. I can’t handle the noise. I find my students, stand with them for about 30 seconds, and we are waved back inside. I do a little jig to let my students know they did awesome, run back inside. They return to music. Get the room ready for tomorrow. Finish just in time to pick up my kids.

3:16 – Students leave. I return to the room to work for another 3 hours. Kid runs back inside to fetch his backpack he forgot. It is sitting on his desk. Tried to ask how he forgot his backpack, but not sure I want to know the answer to that one.

3:30 – Wonder if I did any teaching today. My head hits the desk.

6:00 – Leave school. It’s dark.

5:45 - Wake up. Look through closet to find a fun, colorful outfit to wear that my students might enjoy. Tired, as it's been a LONG week. Find some colorful thing to wear with my cowboy boots because my kids like those boots. Happy I get to see their lovely, smiling faces soon. I remember they are grumpy at me because of the tests. Oh well, maybe lovely, smiling faces next week.