Adventures of the Moving Couple

There were many adventures, but most of them too boring to share. A typical move, if you will. The 'ol pack up everything you have acquired in your life thus far, freak out about how you ended up acquiring THAT MUCH STUFF, then move it somewhere else gig.

I will only share one experience. Unfortunately, this might be one of the stories you tell at parties that YOU think is wildly hilarious and the whole time you are telling it you are giggling and everyone is waiting for the punch line and GUESS WHAT? You don't have one. You thought it was good enough to tell without a punch line. It wasn't. Now excuse yourself and grab a drink, because you're gonna need one. Now your boyfriend will never take you to a work party ever again. (Of course, if your boyfriend's work parties suck, then you just pulled the break a dish so mom doesn't ask you to wash them anymore. Good work.)

We needed boxes. We shoved everything we could into the rest of our garbage bags (a la Beverly Hillbillies or Tommy Boy) and unfortunately still had a LOT of crapola to go through. I knew of a business that receives plenty of boxes AND I knew where they put them when they were done with them. (YES, it was a business solely for the benefit of children who like to play in empty boxes!) We traveled to this business and went straight for their cardboard dumpster. And of course, the dumpster had recently been emptied, as that is what usually happens in situation such as this. All the flattened cardboard boxes were in the very bottom of the dumpster nicely shoved into one unflattened box. Like a little giftie for people who are moving. Spouse #1 tries to reach in and fails. Spouse #2 (the taller, more long armed spouse) is in work clothes. Spouse #1 sacrifices herself for the sake of spouse #2's outfit and tries to prop herself (gosh, she is so selfless) up on the lip of the dumpster. Fails. This is beause Spouse #1 had surgery and walks around with a boot on her foot that limits her dumpster diving abilities. Spouse #2 takes it upon himself to grab Spouse #1's legs to tilt her into the dumpster, thereby giving her leverage (and length) to grab the boxes.

Scene: Person in suit and a tie tilting physically impaired booted woman into a dumpster. Behind a business. In the middle of the day.

Blurg.