Youth. Gross.

I do not trust the youth. And I know what's in your backpack. Fact: NOT textbooks. Nice try. So in that vein, I of course decided to coach youth volleyball.

They are pretty good though. Seem to be somewhat smart. Most of them don't talk back to me or argue with everything I say or assume I have no idea what I'm talking about or say I don't understand them and the problems they have to deal with.

I have crossed the bridge. It's official. I am no longer a youth. (I don't think I have been for some time as I have greatly distrusted youth for awhile now, but it was never more poignant as it was this week. When I became my mother.)

Exhibit A
-Hey coach, have you ever heard of (insert random boy band name here)?
-No.
-You haven't??
-No.
-OMG, they are AMAZING. I LOVE THEM. THEY ARE SO CUTE. AND I LOVE THEM.
-I don't even know what you just said. Your high pitched level of voice has literally caused me to go deaf. What is an ohhemmgeee?

Exhibit B
-I only go to school to see my friends. They are THE ONLY reason I go to school. Seriously. The only reason.
-You know, that's the only reason teachers go to school, too. My friend, 2nd grade teacher, blah blah blah...
-(Visual: Girls are slowly starting to wander away from me. They have half smiles and glazed looks. I can read their minds at this point. "Is she talking to us right now? What is she even saying? Why is she talking? Why do we care about her teacher friends? Teachers don't even have friends. Please shut up. Let us continue talking and pretend you are not here. Shutupshutupshutupshutup..."

Exhibit C
I am in charge of three girls' teams while we watch a boys high school volleyball game. Boys are everywhere. I am sitting in the middle trying to keep them all apart so we don't cause a ruckus. (SEE? I just said ruckus. That is exhibit D and E right there.) One girl gets past me, and I have to yell at her to "come right back down here and have a seat young lady, you get away from that boy, we do not have time to fraternize with young men, I will turn this car around, I will give you to the count of three, and many more stereotypical things old people say."

In light of this, I decided to watch some BSB and N*Sync videos to somewhat regain my vibrant youth like qualities. (I am not sure I ever even had those.) And you know what?

OMG, Justin Timberlake is SO CUTE when he laughs into the camera, I LOVE HIM AND HE IS SO CUTE.